Saturday, March 25, 2017

Jack Blanchard's Column - March 25, 2017










SHORT SNORTERS

Willie Nelson is the star of The Florida Strawberry Festival this year.
We were the Strawberry Festival stars 40 years ago.
Willie's coming up in the world.

I was talking with Grandpa Jones about a mutual friend,
a country music star.
Grandpa was worried that our friend was taking a lot of drugs.
I said, "He takes drugs?"
Grandpa said, "Why, he'd take a overcoat button!"

Dick Clark spent a lot of time hanging out with us.
I said, "You really are a nice guy",
and he said, "That's all I've got going".

Back when we had the million-seller Tennessee Birdwalk
there were only a million people in the world.


THE LIMO

Misty and I once bought a raggedy old limousine for $90.
We needed transportation
and would rather look eccentric than poor.
To add to the effect, we colored it powder blue
with house paint and a brush.
At a gas station two tough guys said they knew the car
and that we owed them big money.
We'd never been there before in our life!
I floored it and sped away at four miles an hour.

A former associate of ours once kept our new Corvette
locked in his garage in New Mexico,
and wouldn't let us have it.
We called a friend in Massachusetts and he flew out there,
broke into the garage, and stole it back for us.
We have always gotten by with help from our friends.

My dad said, "I'd like to purchase a chicken."
The farmer said, "Wanta pullet?"
Dad said, "No. Just put it in a bag. I'll carry it."

Misty called me from the library today
and I said "What are you wearing?"

A BAD HAIR DAY... Misty just said,
"My hair looks like a drowned rat."
I said, "No. It looks like a nice rat." She laughed.

A Wendy's cashier demanded that I prove
that I'm NOT eligible for a senior discount.


Jack Blanchard.
© 2017.
-- 
Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan... 
Home Page: http://www.jackandmisty.net
Awards: Grammy, Billboard, CMA, BMI, ASCAP.

Mastering & restoration studio: 352-530-2068.
Email: jackandmisty@gmail.com.
© Jack Blanchard, 2017.




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